Read the transcript: Cora:
Does Your Job Match Your Personality?
I’m Cora Naylor – Certified Co-Active Coach and Emotion Code Practitioner.
Often Empty Nesters start new jobs or businesses after the kids are grown. Wouldn’t it be great if you could find something to do that matches your personality? Today I’ve invited Paula Potter to help us with that.
Paula has been a small business owner/entrepreneur for over 30 years. She is a recognized DISC expert, as well as a Myer-Briggs practitioner. Paula is a speaker, trainer, and coach, focusing on team building and leadership through understanding self and others. She is known as The Relational Leader and has spoken to over 40000 people in her career. She says her gift is to “bring out the brilliance in others.” Welcome Paula!
Paula: thank you Cora, it's a pleasure to be here. Cora: Yeah, I'm excited. I know for me - over the years I've done a few different kinds of tests because it's taken me a long time to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. Paula: you know I think it takes a lot of us. A lifetimes to journey to figure that out. we're always reinventing and rethinking that. Cora: Yeah, and it's nice if we can start sooner but you know there's never a bad time to start either and sometimes we need to wait until after our kids are grown to start something new. and it's never too late. I hear a lot of ladies saying they're 50 something - Oh, you know, I'm getting too old, life's over, and we've got so many years left and there's so many things possible so I'm excited to get some tips from you today. Paula: Absolutely, thank you Cora. Cora: maybe you can give us a little idea about how these tests work and what we can get out of them. Paula: Okay. Well you know I think one of the things that I thought maybe we would focus on three things today so one of the important things is to really know yourself. That's important. and that's a lifelong journey. Number two is to really focus on what it is that you want for this next phase of your life and as an empty nester you've had a lot of change. And so it's important to really evaluate what you want. And the third one is then to commit to a doable action plan. even if you just take baby steps to get started, you can make some progress in moving forward. So, I have as you mentioned in my intro I've used different assessments over the years and I think what's really so awesome about - regardless of what kind of assessment - we'll talk a little bit about Myers Briggs today, but you can use any of them. There's Strengths Finder there's kind of a colors there. You know, there's just a variety of things, all versions of DISC and maybe you found one that has animal differences and that. I encourage you to think about it as not just a once and done. It's kind of a return and learn. so what can I do to constantly be learning more about myself. I kind of think of it as like an onion so you're peeling back all of these layers. And each time you do a little bit towards self discovery. It gives you a little bit of additional information to put into your puzzle of what's important to you or what you want in your life. So, I think, you know, when you're looking at a Myers Briggs, as an example, we'll start with that one. And if you've taken it before. It's always good to kind of take one again just to kind of see as anything shifted Has anything changed. And those of you that are empty nesters probably had this happen to you. I know I certainly have where you're raising your kids and you're thinking, How can it be that these two or three or one child or however many you have are so different than I am or different than their sibling? they were raised in the same household and yet they see the world entirely differently. sometimes we want to try, I think as a parent, as a co worker, as a spouse, to really try and mold the other person into our image or what we think or how they should see the world. and it's just not that way. So, would you like me to give you just a little bit of an overview of the Myers Briggs. Cora: yeah that'd be great .and I know just going back to what you were saying about kids being different. I'm the mom of identical twin boys and as much as they have many interests the same, they're very different and at the same time so if people think you know their other kids are different. Imagine having identical twins, and how different they can be. Paula: And I would bet Cora that you started to see those differences at a fairly early age for those kids. you know there's there's been a lot of research and study over the years about is it nature or is it nurture? and it really is a combination both of those play in. but when you look at, I think the nature piece of it which is really kind of what you're alluding to is, and with my grandkids. I noticed so early on, what a difference there is between my little granddaughter Lily and my grandson Jack. I mean just in how they interact in the world. And so, the important thing is, and that's something I think I've worked with and learned over the years is, people have to be able to be themselves. we need to encourage that and to, whether it's you, as an empty nester, it's your kids or your spouse, we've got to really focus on the gifts, whether it's spiritual gifts, whatever it might be that that person brings to the world and then they'll thrive. The worst thing we can do is try and put someone into a box and expect them to act the same way we do, that's a little bit of craziness. All right, so let's let's look at the Myers Briggs. it's been around for a long time. it was based on the work of Carl Jung, way back in the day. he was a interesting character himselff. but then there was a daughter, a mother daughter team that actually started really spending decades, looking at his research and the model and building the Myers Briggs. I want you as you're as I'm going through these - there's four different dimensions of the Myers Briggs - so if you have a pen or pencil, you might want to jot a couple things down here. And then those four dimensions we, it comes out to about 16 different types. That sounds like a lot I don't expect you to remember everything but I'm going to focus on the four dimensions right now. So the first one is either extraversion or introversion a preference for that. And it's kind of how, what the analogy that I like to use is think of a battery. if you have a battery inside of you what you need to do to recharge your battery. So as an example, think about going to an event .I mean we're not doing a lot of that right now, but if you've been to a conference or some kind of a convention. at the end of the day of sessions or maybe you've gone to something with your kids, whatever it might be. At the end of the day, the extroverts are like, oh, let's go down to the bar and have a drink or oh let's go out for dinner, you know that's exciting that energizes them. People that have more of an introversion preference they can they do all that they can enjoy it. It's draining for their batteries so to recharge the battery they need to go spend a little bit of quiet time. No, I think I'll just go back to the room you know I've got some things I want to do and they just want to be able to relax and unplug and that's how they re energize. So that's a really important component and. Does that make sense to you. Cora: Yeah, I'm definitely an introvert. Paula: Yeah. Okay. I'm curious on your twin boys is one more of an extrovert and one an introvert. Cora: Yes. Paula: Okay. and then the second dimension is how we gather information in the world. and so on extroverted and introvert for they use an E and an I so that's the first dimension there. And then the second dimension when we look at how we take in information. there's the sensing versus the intuitive so we'll use the S for sensing, as we've already used the I for introversion we use an N, for intuitive. So how you gather information, and I've done a lot of fun activities, over the years, and I'll just, I'll paint this picture for you if you will. if I hold up a picture right now, and said okay Cora I want you to tell me what you see in this picture. Sensing types will focus on all the details they'll say, well, there's a tree. there's apples, there's a river, there's a bird, there's, you know they they see all of the details. and intuitive type we'll look at that same picture, and they will tell a story about that picture. Well, it's a very peaceful comfortable setting, you know, I think there's probably a family that lives over there. And they, they enjoy baking pies from their apples that they've just picked. It's like, totally different way of looking at things. And so sensing is more what you can touch, taste, smell, feel all the data you can take in. an intuitive type kind of looks at the big picture they know what they how they know but they don't know how they know what if that makes sense. Just curious Cora What do you think you are on that? Cora: more of a sensing than intensity. Paula: All right. And we can't be close on some of these four scales here. so an S or an N for sensing or intuitive. Then there's the issue of how we make decisions. And so you have either those that are thinking or those that are feeling. And that doesn't mean that thinkers can't feel and feelers can't think, but it's just a matter of how we tend to make a decision. and a fun activity that I always love to do and if you have, again with your kids - I use this with younger kids too and it's fascinating. You can say okay so your team has really won this big tournament, or big event or you know some kind of a thing contest. And so as the reward, we're going to send four of the team to Hawaii for an all expense paid trip let's just say that .you have to decide which four of your team members will take this trip. And it's, again, I love this exercise because the thinkers are very analytical about it and they'll say. Well, you know, we need to develop some criteria, and based on what people contributed or based on this they've got this whole criteria and they're very methodical about how they evaluate who gets to go on the trip. The feelers are typically over here going well, you know, I really want us all to be able to go. Maybe if we did a bake sale and we did this fundraising, we can take everybody. you know we can raise the additional money because they want to include everyone. Cora: We lost you for a second here. Paula: to contribute if there's somebody that doesn't want to go then that's fine that'll reduce the number. So what do you think on that - are you were thinking or feeling? Cora: thinking but also feeling but maybe we can think of a way. Paula: There you go. Absolutely. Okay. And then the last dimension is how we live in the world. And so the letter that we use for that is J for judging and P for perceiving. and it doesn't mean judgmental at all. it's judging, and perceiving so I want you to hear me on that. So the judging types are the way they like we often will say that the judging lives in files and perceiving lives in piles. So, one of the most interesting things to me is how we deal with our anxiety levels. I want everyone that's watching this broadcast to think about your anxiety level when you go to make a decision. Judging types have more anxiety, before the decision is made, they're thinking about things and they're thinking well you know is this the right thing to do or not and they agonize about it. Once they make a decision. They're like, Okay, let's go. They don't second guess themselves. Perceiving types - their anxiety comes after the decision has made. So that's when they start really fretting about it you know they like to leave their options open. Maybe they made a decision too soon. So think about your anxiety level there and that also will give you a clue into whether you're judging or perceiving. So what about you Cora on this one. What do you think? Cora: generally judging - more often. I would say. Paula: okay, some more organized and you'd like to be able to have a decision made and then we'll move on and all. I have to tell you very fascinating that the very first time, I was ever introduced to Myers Briggs was actually in marriage counseling with my first husband. and we were the exact opposite on every four of the dimensions. And so as an example when you look at the different letters. He was an ISTJ, which it sounds like you might be Cora, and I'm the exact opposite I'm an ENFP. And so, you know, it was, it was such an eye opener for me. Now, people and let me make sure I make this clear people that have differences can totally do very, very well together. It's a matter of shared respect and trust and all of those things. So, you know, I just think it's very fascinating. That's enough for as an overview. I am sure you have some questions. Cora: we could go on here for hours but we we're almost out of time. that's a great start for people just to be aware of those different personality types and how they might fit in. sometimes even within a team in a workplace or if you're an entrepreneur is doesn't line up with what you're doing. So I'm sure if people want to get more information and learn about these. It's great for empty nesters - but it also could be great for their kids to. maybe they should be doing that in high school and they can figure out what direction they want to go. it might help them narrow down the way that they want to go. so if people want to reach out and get their kids tested or themselves, they can get ahold of you through your website here www.paulapotter.com. Paula: That's exactly right and also let me just say that many community colleges and different universities that kind of thing for adults as well have career testing kind of centers and sometimes you can get some of these assessments there as well. There's a lot of reading material out there. And so I would encourage you to do a little bit of journaling about what you want, and that will in your life. that will help direct you. we also talked about temperaments. I don't want to take too much more time. But there's four different temperaments and some of them are very good at immediate in the moment problem solvers and those go towards certain temperaments, others are much more about vision and harmony harmony and idealistic and they go in certain temperaments. if you just even do some research, just on Google. I just for fun, did a search on suggested careers for Myers Briggs types, and it breaks it down and every single of the 16 types has some suggestions. Cora: So again, thank you so much for being on here today Paula. tons of awesome information and if anybody again wants to get ahold of her just reach out to Paula through her website, it's running along the bottom here www.paulapotter.com. if you're an empty nester and you're wanting to hang out with some other empty nesters find out more about the interviews that we're doing or get some support, comment below with the a “Yes” and we'll get you added into my empty nest group. We'll look forward to seeing everybody next time. Contact Paula: www.paulapotter.com Join Cora's Empty Nest Facebook Group: http://bit.ly/you-beyond-the-empty-nest Book a Complimentary Call with Cora: https://coranaylor.com/emptynestcoach/